These Men Put Off Doctor's Visits Again And Again. Then Came A Tipping Point

Two years ago, Dan Somers started to acquisition a bid of unusual and unexplained symptoms. He had terrible thorax pain, was incapable to support nutrient aliases moreover h2o down and kept "chucking up bile".

Though he had a consciousness that thing mightiness beryllium wrong, Dan was reluctant to activity aesculapian help. "I'm really stubborn erstwhile it comes down to going to nan doctors," nan 43-year-old from Ipswich tells nan BBC. "I didn't want to beryllium a burden."

Dan's symptom continued to get worse, until he was "near capable screaming connected nan level successful pain" and had to return clip disconnected work. It was nan worst symptom he's ever experienced, he says upon reflection.

But "I honestly thought I could effort and hole it," Dan recalls.

It was his woman who yet managed to push Dan to spot nan doctor.

His GP sent him consecutive to hospital, wherever he was diagnosed pinch a gallbladder infection and spent a week recovering. He was told he had been adjacent to getting sepsis.

Dan's communicative mirrors those of different men who've told nan BBC they've besides put disconnected seeking aesculapian curen - often until their symptoms became unbearable aliases until a loved 1 pushed them to get help.

It's good known that men spell to nan doctors little than women, and information backs this up.

The NHS told nan BBC it doesn't merchandise demographic information astir GP appointments. But according to nan ONS Health Insight Survey from February, commissioned by NHS England, 45.8% of women compared to conscionable 33.5% of men had attempted to make interaction pinch their GP believe for themselves aliases personification other successful their family successful nan past 28 days.

Men were much apt to opportunity they weren't registered astatine a dental believe and "rarely aliases never" utilized a pharmacy, too.

They besides dress up considerably less infirmary outpatient appointments than women, moreover erstwhile pregnancy-related appointments are discounted.

Men are "less apt to be regular appointments and much apt to hold help-seeking until symptoms interfere pinch regular function," says Paul Galdas, professor of men's wellness astatine nan University of York.

This each affects men's wellness outcomes.

Experts opportunity there's a agelong database of reasons why men mightiness put disconnected seeking aesculapian help, and caller study information from nan NHS suggests that concerns astir really they are perceived travel into play.

In nan survey, 48% of antheral respondents agreed they felt a grade of unit to "tough it out" erstwhile it came to imaginable wellness issues, while a 3rd agreed they felt talking astir imaginable wellness concerns mightiness make others spot them arsenic weak. The canvass heard from almost 1,000 men successful England successful November and December 2024.

Society associates masculinity pinch traits for illustration self-reliance, independency and not showing vulnerability, says societal scientist Prof Brendan Gough of Leeds Beckett University. "Men are traditionally expected to benignant things retired themselves".

"It's worrying to spot conscionable really galore men still consciousness incapable to talk astir their wellness concerns," says Dr Claire Fuller, NHS aesculapian head for superior care. She notes that men tin beryllium reluctant to activity aesculapian support for intelligence wellness and for changes successful their bodies that could beryllium signs of cancer.

"GPs are often nan champion measurement to entree nan thief they need," she adds.

Kevin McMullan says he's learned from moving for men's intelligence wellness kindness ManHealth that men want to lick their ain problems. He says he struggled pinch his intelligence wellness for years earlier he yet sewage help.

"You want to hole it yourself. Men are inherent problem-solvers and really you are emotion is simply a problem successful nan aforesaid measurement that having a level tyre is simply a problem," says Kevin, 44, from Sedgefield successful County Durham.

This is thing that nan Health Insights Survey indicates, too. The information suggests that erstwhile group were incapable to interaction their GP practice, men were importantly much apt than women to study "self-managing" their condition, while women were much apt than men to spell to a drugstore aliases telephone 111.

"Many men consciousness that help-seeking threatens their consciousness of independency aliases competence," Prof Galdas says.

Prof Galdas points to different factors deterring men from going to nan doctors, for illustration assignment systems that don't fresh astir their moving patterns.

Services besides trust connected talking openly astir problems, he suggests, which doesn't bespeak really men speak astir wellness concerns - and location are nary fixed check-ups targeting younger men.

Women, successful contrast, are "sort of forced to prosecute successful nan wellness system" because they mightiness activity appointments related to menstruation, contraception, cervical screenings aliases pregnancy, says Seb Pillon, a GP successful Bolton.

And they're mostly successful power of organising their family's healthcare, too. For example, astir 90% of nan group who contacted nan children's slumber kindness Sleep Action for thief successful nan past six months were mums, grandmothers and different women successful nan children's lives, its caput of work Alyson O'Brien says.

Because women are much integrated successful nan healthcare strategy - done seeking support for some themselves and their children - they're much health-literate and are often nan driving unit down their partners seeking aesculapian help, according to Prof Galdas.

And men conscionable person a different cognition towards healthcare, Dr Pillon says. He believes galore spot it solely arsenic curen - solving their problems - alternatively than preventative. Men are, for example, less likely to return portion successful nan NHS's bowel crab screening programme. As Prof Galdas says: "men often activity thief erstwhile symptoms disrupt their expertise to function."

For Jonathan Anstee, 54, from Surrey, it took his symptoms getting drastically worse for him to book a doctors appointment, aft months of tummy aches and humor successful his stool.

"The symptom sewage a batch worse and nan humor sewage a batch worse," Jonathan says. "But moreover erstwhile I went to nan doctors, I was sat successful nan waiting room reasoning 'this is simply a monolithic discarded of time'."

He was diagnosed pinch bowel crab successful September 2022.

Throughout his life he'd mostly avoided doctors appointments, Jonathan says. And arsenic a father, "you're utilized to worrying astir your kids and not yourself," he says. Going to nan doctors for himself, not his children, seemed "a spot benignant of indulgent", he says.

Last year, Jonathan was told his bowel crab was shape four.

Having humor successful his stool had felt excessively embarrassing to talk to his friends and family astir astatine nan time. Jonathan's proposal to different men is: "There is perfectly nary request to beryllium embarrassed. The replacement could termination you - literally."

In caller years, support groups for men pinch cancer and mental wellness conditions person sprung up.

Matthew Wiltshire started nan men's kindness nan Cancer Club aft being diagnosed pinch bowel crab successful 2015. He died successful 2023.

Matthew felt location wasn't a abstraction "where men were openly talking astir what it's for illustration to spell done cancer," his son, Oliver Wiltshire, says. "He besides noticed really overmuch of nan affectional load was being carried by nan women astir him."

Through nan Cancer Club, men tin connection online and be sports events together.

"Whether it's applicable advice, honorable chat aliases conscionable knowing personification other gets it, that relationship tin make a large difference," Oliver adds.

Experts opportunity that while men's attitudes towards healthcare are gradually changing for nan better, much activity still needs to beryllium done.

Prof Galdas believes men will prosecute much if services are redesigned to meet their needs - proactively offering support, having elastic entree and focusing connected applicable action to amended intelligence wellness issues.

"There's bully grounds from gender-responsive programmes successful intelligence health, crab care, and wellness checks showing this consistently," he says.

For Dr Pillon, it's adding wide wellness checks for men successful their 20s to get them much utilized to accessing aesculapian care.

They're already disposable done nan NHS for group aged 40 to 74, but introducing them for younger men who mightiness not different spell to nan doctors would "embed nan thought that you tin travel and usage wellness services", he says.

If you person been affected by immoderate of nan issues raised successful this story, accusation and support tin beryllium recovered astatine nan BBC's Action Line.